Here is a concise summary of the provided text, focusing on the main points and opinions about E3:
**Summary**
* The author shares their sarcastic and humorous take on E3, highlighting various game announcements and trailers.
* **Notable Mentions:**
+ **Eldon Ring**: Coming in January, with summonable enemies and potentially more freedom in combat than expected from its developer.
+ **Battlefield 2077**: Had one of the coolest trailers, but the author expresses concern about the game's quality.
+ **Zelda**: Aerial traversal and time travel hinted at in the sequel's trailer.
+ **Somerville**: A visually polished game from one of the co-founders of Play Dead (Inside).
+ **Halo Infinite**: Multiplayer will be free, while single-player requires full game purchase.
+ **Metroid 5**: Unexpectedly announced, offering a chance to build upon **Samus Returns**' ideas.
* **Author's Opinions:**
+ Criticism of some game announcements for being confusing (e.g., **Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo**) or unimpressive.
+ Praise for indie games and their innovative storytelling.
+ Skepticism towards the quality of some highly anticipated titles.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text, keeping each fact a short sentence and excluding opinions:
**Game Announcements & Releases**
1. **Eldon Ring** is set to release in January, featuring summonable enemies.
2. **Starfield** is a space-themed game.
3. **Zelda** sequel is coming out next year, with aerial traversal and time travel features.
4. **Far Cry 6** was announced.
5. **Battlefield 2077** was showcased with a trailer.
6. **Psychonauts 2** is finally coming out in August.
7. **Halo Infinite** multiplayer will be free.
8. **Metroid 5** was announced, skipping **Metroid 4**.
9. **Final Fantasy 16** was showcased by Square Enix.
**Game Features & Updates**
10. **Eldon Ring** features freedom and variety in its combat, according to Miyazaki.
11. **Halo Infinite** single-player will require full price payment on Xbox.
12. **Zelda** sequel features rewind time mechanics.
**Company & Developer Updates**
13. Saber and Prime Matter are working together on a new **Painkiller** game.
14. Play Dead (creators of **Inside**) is working on **Somerville** after a company split.
15. The director of **Halo Infinite** left the game, and another director took over, who then also left.
**Events & Milestones**
16. E3 featured interviews with streamers and YouTubers about their favorite indie games.
17. **Dragon Quest** celebrated its 35th anniversary at E3.
18. A sequel to an unreleased **Suikoden** game was announced.