Here is a concise summary of the provided script:
**Title:** "Breaking News"
**Format:** Comedy News Program with Unpredictable Content
**Summary:**
* The show opens with anchors GooGoo DaDa GaGa BaBa MaMa WaWa TaTa and Dale, who must read from a teleprompter without prior knowledge of the content and are not allowed to smile or laugh.
* Segments include:
1. **Sacrebleu**: A celebrity gossip story about Ana de Armas and Stuart Little, which devolves into absurdity.
2. **Pokémon**: A humorous take on the franchise, focusing on the supposed sex appeal of the character Gengar.
3. **Poison Milk**: A segment hijacked by a guest claiming to be Ben Affleck (via body-swapping), who provides unverifiable "proof" of his identity.
4. **Relationship Correspondent**: Young Money Deuteronomy reports on a boring heterosexual third date, which involves a disastrous dinner and an awkward invitation to a third person's apartment.
* The episode ends with **Amy Vorpahl** being declared the loser, punished with reciting the entire California Pizza Kitchen menu from memory, which she fails to do accurately.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text, keeping each fact a short sentence and excluding opinions:
**Note:** Some facts might seem trivial or context-dependent, but I've aimed to include all objective, verifiable statements.
1. The show "Breaking News" is hosted from West Hollywood, California.
2. The show's format involves reading from a teleprompter without prior knowledge of the content.
3. Contestants on the show lose points for laughing or breaking character.
4. The show's hosts are GooGoo DaDa GaGa BaBa MaMa WaWa TaTa and Dale.
5. A celebrity gossip Instagram account named "Sacrebleu" posted 450 stories simultaneously.
6. The posts included scandalous photos of Ana de Armas and Stuart Little.
7. Stuart Little is known for his "bad-boy, give no F's" reputation.
8. Pokémon trading card prices have increased in value, especially for the character Gengar.
9. Ben Affleck claimed to have body-swapped with the show's guest, Alfred.
10. Ben Affleck mentioned getting a Phoenix tattoo, which took 12 painful hours to complete.
11. The tattoo artist's name was reportedly Jennifer.
12. A relationship correspondent, Young Money Deuteronomy, reported on a third date between two 26-year-olds.
13. The date began at a California Pizza Kitchen (CPK) restaurant.
14. The male participant had an adverse reaction to eating a jalapeno at CPK.
15. The couple later visited a classic date bar with fancy-named cocktails, all priced at $16.
16. Amy Vorpahl was announced as the show's loser for the day.
17. As punishment, Amy was tasked with reciting the entire California Pizza Kitchen menu from memory.