Here is a concise summary of the provided text, which appears to be a stand-up comedy routine by Brad, a self-described dwarf:
**Summary:**
Comedian Brad shares humorous anecdotes about his life as a little person. He recounts two main stories:
1. **Road Rage Incident**: Brad's mom is polite to a driver going the wrong way, who responds with aggression. Brad defends his mom, and the situation escalates, but the aggressor flees after Brad yells "Hadouken" (a Street Fighter reference), mistakenly believing Brad can throw a fireball.
2. **McDonald's Play Place Altercation**: A kid hits Brad with a ball at a McDonald's play area. Brad chases the kid, but the situation is misinterpreted, with other kids thinking he's a new mascot. The kid's dad intervenes, but is surprised to find Brad is an adult and hesitant to confront him due to his stature.
**Recurring Theme:**
Brad pokes fun at the advantages of being perceived as "adorable" or "cute" due to his dwarfism, joking that it helps him get away with various mischiefs, such as almost starting a fight and shoplifting cookies without consequence.
Here are the extracted key facts, each with a number and in short sentences, excluding opinions:
1. The speaker is a dwarf (little person) and a comedian.
2. The speaker's mother is of average height and from Savannah, Georgia.
3. The speaker's father is also of average height.
4. Giving birth to a dwarf can be a challenging medical process.
5. The speaker was born with a head size similar to their current head size.
6. The speaker's family does not all share the same dwarfism trait.
7. An incident occurred where the speaker's mother was driving and a man was going the wrong way down a one-way street.
8. The man yelled at the speaker's mother when she politely pointed out his mistake.
9. The speaker confronted the man, who eventually flinched and ran away after the speaker yelled "Hadouken" (a reference to Street Fighter 2).
10. The speaker has never learned how to fight in a traditional sense.
11. The speaker was having lunch at McDonald's with their friend Adam.
12. A child at the McDonald's playplace threw a ball from the ball pit, hitting the speaker.
13. The speaker chased the child, who ran into the play tubes.
14. The speaker, being 4'4", was able to follow the child into the tubes.
15. The child's father intervened in the situation, initially not realizing the speaker's age.
16. The speaker has occasionally worn stride rites (a type of shoe).
17. The speaker has performed shows with flashing lights on their shoes.
18. The speaker claims to have gotten away with stealing cookies from a grocery store due to their appearance.