Here is a concise summary of the provided transcript:
**Context:** A new mother's vlog, recorded the day after giving birth to her baby (born at 36 weeks, technically preterm).
**Key Points:**
1. **Post-Delivery Update**: The mother is tired, in pain (with "a thousand stitches"), and still looks pregnant, but feels like herself again.
2. **Baby Update**: The baby is healthy, breastfeeding well, and "perfect" despite being early; still unnamed.
3.. **Pregnancy App Humor**: The couple mocks the absurd baby size comparisons provided by pregnancy apps (e.g., "a tray of Madeleine cookies").
4. **Sleep Deprivation**: The mother has slept only briefly since the water broke and is struggling to stay awake.
5. **Upcoming Plans**: The family is preparing to go home from the hospital (after two nights) and is close to choosing a name for the baby.
6. **Closing**: The mother is excited to take her "Christmas baby" home, despite her own exhausted state.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text, each with a number and in short sentences, without opinions:
1. The speaker had a baby.
2. The baby was born at 36 weeks, considered preterm (typically 40 weeks).
3. The baby is breastfeeding successfully.
4. The speaker had very little sleep: 20 minutes, then another 20 minutes, totaling about 1 hour since her water broke.
5. She had slept for 3 hours before her water broke.
6. The baby does not have a name yet, but they are close to deciding.
7. The family spent two nights in the hospital.
8. They are scheduled to go home the day of the recording.
9. The baby was not planned to be born so early, so they didn't have a going-home outfit ready.
10. The speaker's partner, Eric, was with the baby while the speaker was recording, during some tests before discharge.
11. The baby is healthy, described as "really healthy" by the speaker.