The given text appears to be a transcript of a person's thoughts and conversations on their birthday. The narrative jumps between different topics, including the person's desire to buy a swimming pool, their interactions with various individuals, including Queen Elizabeth, Michael Jackson, and a cousin, and their reactions to the gifts they receive.
The person starts by contemplating buying a swimming pool to cool off on a hot day. They then imagine calling Queen Elizabeth to ask for her opinion on buying a landmark, and she responds by offering to give them an exorbitant amount of money.
The narrative then shifts to the person's interactions with Michael Jackson, who is visiting their home. The person is frustrated with Michael Jackson's clinginess and his tendency to show up uninvited.
As the day progresses, the person receives various gifts from their guests, including a microphone, a piano, and an iPhone. However, they are not impressed with these gifts and express their disappointment.
Throughout the transcript, the person's thoughts and conversations are interspersed with random observations and tangents, creating a sense of disjointedness and surrealism. Overall, the text appears to be a stream-of-consciousness narrative that explores the person's thoughts and feelings on their birthday.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The speaker is considering buying a swimming pool to cool off.
2. They claim to have been given an offer of 500 infinite trillions to buy a landmark.
3. The speaker is eating a sausage that has been left out since Monday.
4. It is their birthday.
5. Michael Jackson is mentioned as visiting the speaker's house.
6. A person named Charlotte is welcoming guests to the speaker's house.
7. The speaker mentions having received gifts, including a jet car, a helicopter, and a plane.
8. The Atlantic Ocean is mentioned as something the speaker claims to have bought.
9. The speaker is waiting for a president to arrive with a gift.
10. A person named Mohamed is mentioned as having given the speaker a piano trio with dynamite as a birthday present.
11. The speaker is eating cake and mentions that they are going off their diet.
12. They mention receiving a gift of an apple from someone named Senar.
13. The speaker is going to use a gift to join a rock band.
14. A person named Cintia is mentioned as having given the speaker a guitar as a gift.