The provided text appears to be a script or lyrics to a song/video that combines various fairy tale characters and elements with modern-day language and references. The story begins with a young man named Hannes who quits his job at Burger King and then transitions to a doll maker named Gepetto who creates a wooden-headed boy. The narrative then jumps to a character named Goldilocks who breaks into houses and takes things, and later to a little tailor who is tasked with completing three impossible tasks for a king.
Throughout the text, there are also references to modern-day culture, such as music, videos, and social media, as well as mentions of specific people, places, and products. The tone is often humorous and irreverent, with the narrator frequently breaking into song or making wry comments about the story.
The text also appears to be promoting a film called "A Yeti Wants to Go High" and mentions a YouTube channel and a Spotify playlist. Overall, the script is a surreal and playful mashup of fairy tale elements and modern-day references, with a tone that is both humorous and self-aware.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. A young man named Hannes worked at Burger King for 7 years, working only 34 minutes a day.
2. Hannes quit his job at Burger King and received a proper severance package.
3. Gepetto, a doll maker, was known for his spectacular woodwork but was not popular due to his loneliness.
4. Gepetto wanted to create a wooden-headed boy to raise.
5. Gepetto used low-quality wood to create his wooden-headed boy because he was a little sadist.
6. Gepetto's wooden-headed boy was extra ugly and fat.
7. A little tailor had an inferiority complex and a desire for confirmation.
8. The little tailor exaggerated his accomplishments to impress others.
9. The king sent for the little tailor to kill a giant.
10. The little tailor faced three impossible tasks: killing a giant, catching a unicorn, and locking up a wild sow.
11. The little tailor was successful in his tasks and became a hero.
12. A new film called "A Yeti Wants to Go High" is being released on September 26th, 2009.
13. The narrator played one of the main roles in the film.
14. The film is being released in cinemas on September 26th, 2009.
15. The full version of all the fairy tale songs is available on Spotify.