The text you provided appears to be a transcript of a roast performed by an individual, targeting various members of the Sidemen group and others. The roaster makes jokes and humorous comments about their appearances, personalities, and personal lives. The tone is generally light-hearted and teasing, typical of roast comedy.
Here are the key facts from the text without opinions:
1. The event is a roast of the Sidemen.
2. The roast is being delivered by Alex.
3. Ethan has lost 30 kilos.
4. Simon and JJ became friends in 2005.
5. Simon used to hold the camera for videos.
6. Toby's name is mentioned as "Toby Brown."
7. Talia is mentioned in relation to her choice among the Sidemen.
Please note that this text contains humor and roasting, so some statements may not be entirely factual.