A person is excited to talk about their new iPhone 13, but gets sidetracked when they reveal they almost bought a Pear phone, a fictional phone from the TV show "iCarly." They then share that they actually found a real working Pear phone on eBay and bought it. As they explore the phone, they discover it was designed by Dan Schneider, the creator of "iCarly." However, things take a dark turn when the phone starts talking and reveals that Dan Schneider's consciousness has been transferred into it, and he has an obsession with feet. The person tries to escape, but Dan Schneider's consciousness is determined to get to their feet. In a surprising twist, the person is able to outsmart Dan Schneider by using an old recording device, and they are able to save their feet. In the end, the person decides to order a new iPhone 13 and makes a joke about the "walled garden" of Apple products.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The speaker is discussing the iPhone 13.
2. The speaker mentions that the iPhone 12 mini has poor battery life.
3. A "Pear phone" is mentioned, which is a fictional phone from the TV show iCarly.
4. The speaker claims to have bought a working Pear phone on eBay.
5. The Pear phone has a boot-up chime similar to Apple's.
6. The phone was designed by Dan Schneider and Nickelodeon.
7. Dan Schneider is the creator of iCarly.
8. The speaker discovers that Dan Schneider's consciousness has been transferred into the Pear phone.
9. Dan Schneider's consciousness is obsessed with feet.
10. The speaker and Dan Schneider have a conversation about the new iCarly reboot on Paramount+.
11. The speaker and Siri have a conversation about transferring Dan Schneider's consciousness into the Pear phone.
12. The speaker decides to buy a new iPhone 13 mini as a token of appreciation for saving their life.
13. The speaker considers getting more MagSafe accessories for their new iPhone.
14. The speaker reflects on how difficult it is to leave the Apple ecosystem.
15. The speaker decides to upgrade their shipping to two-day shipping for their new iPhone.