The author, a self-proclaimed Floridian, shares two bizarre stories that highlight the state's reputation for producing outrageous headlines, often associated with the term "Florida Man."
The first story involves a man who steals an electric scooter from Target and assembles it outside the store, where he is eventually arrested by police. The author finds the situation humorous, likening it to something out of a video game.
The second story involves a group of six suspects, employees of Island Dairy, who allegedly stole over $1 million worth of milk and dairy products from MacArthur Dairy. The suspects would manipulate the ordering system, load extra products onto delivery trucks, and then sell them to unknown buyers. The author is perplexed by the plan, questioning who would buy stolen milk from strangers and how the suspects intended to turn a profit.
Both stories are presented as examples of the absurd and often inexplicable nature of crimes committed in Florida.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The narrator has lived in Florida for 28 years.
2. A man stole an electric scooter from Target and assembled it outside the store.
3. The police arrived and arrested the man while he was assembling the scooter.
4. The man was asked if he bought the scooter, but he didn't respond.
5. The incident was likely reported by Target employees who saw the man steal the scooter.
6. Six suspects, who were employees of Island Dairy, were arrested for stealing over $1 million worth of milk from MacArthur Dairy.
7. The suspects allegedly manipulated the ordering system to load extra dairy products onto delivery trucks.
8. The delivery drivers would then deviate from their routes and transfer the extra dairy products to another individual.
9. One suspect allegedly sold each stolen milk carton for $10.
10. The suspects were identified through an internal investigation by Island Dairy and were caught by police through surveillance.
11. The stolen dairy products were valued at over $1 million, with an additional $350,000 worth of crates stolen.
12. The suspects were delivery drivers and dispatchers for Island Dairy who had been stealing milk since 2021.