This is a transcript of a satirical French news broadcast. The anchor introduces the show by announcing that his wife left him the night before. The first segment reports on a man who became a millionaire after winning the lottery. The next segment covers a bizarre sport where mothers compete to see who can throw their child the farthest. The third segment features an interview with two actors who claim to be geniuses and have created a masterpiece play.
The broadcast is then interrupted by a report of a hostage situation, where a man is demanding a million euros in exchange for the safe release of the hostages. The situation escalates, and the hostage-taker's demands become increasingly unreasonable.
The show then cuts back to the studio, where the anchor is joined by a guest, Madame Martin, who is running for president. However, the conversation quickly devolves into chaos, with Madame Martin becoming aggressive and the anchor struggling to maintain control.
The show ends with the anchor reflecting on the events of the evening and making a personal plea to his estranged wife to grant him joint custody of their children. The broadcast ends with a musical theme and a final message about saving the world.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. A man named Lucky Bertrand won the lottery and became a millionaire.
2. Bertrand won 2 million euros.
3. Bertrand purchased the winning lottery ticket at a small bar in a town near Paris.
4. A group of mothers in the Nord Pas de Calais region have found a new passion in a little-known activity called "baby dropping".
5. The objective of baby dropping is to throw one's child as far away as possible.
6. The mothers train to win competitions and earn money for their children's future.
7. Two actors, Edwards and Couffé, are performing a show in Paris that they have been working on for ten years.
8. The show received 150,000 euros in aid from the town hall.
9. The actors have received negative criticism and death threats, but claim that their show is a masterpiece.
10. A hostage-taking situation occurred at a company in Boulogne-Billancourt.
11. The hostage-taker demanded a million euros in small denominations and threatened to kill the hostages.
12. The situation was resolved, and the hostages were freed.
13. Françoise Martin, the president of the France Party, is running in the presidential election.
14. Martin's program and policies were not specified in the text.
15. The news broadcast ended with the anchor thanking viewers for watching and asking for custody of his children.