The writer is playing and critiquing the NES game "Super Pitfall," expressing their frustration and bafflement at the game's poor design, numerous flaws, and seemingly impossible challenges. They point out issues such as invisible items, awkward character movement, and nonsensical level design. The writer also pokes fun at the game's absurd elements, like the main character's bizarre death animation and the appearance of a giant Easter Island head. Throughout the review, the writer's tone is sarcastic and humorous, with a clear disdain for the game's numerous shortcomings.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. Pitfall Harry started in the classic Atari game Pitfall.
2. Pitfall Harry was originally introduced in the NES game Super Pitfall.
3. In Super Pitfall, the first ladder the player sees drops them into a pit where they get killed by a bird or a bat.
4. The game has many obstacles, including spikes, birds, bats, and lava.
5. The player cannot shoot while ducking, which makes it difficult to hit enemies.
6. Most enemies in the game are too short to be hit by the player's gun.
7. The graphics in the game flicker, and there are often objects popping out at the edge of the screen.
8. Some items in the game are invisible and only appear when the player jumps in a specific spot.
9. The gold in the game has no purpose other than to give the player points.
10. The game requires the player to find secret items and use them to unlock certain parts of the game.
11. The game has a dungeon with skulls and enemies that are tall enough to be shot.
12. The player must rescue a princess, but the game does not give any clues on how to do so.
13. The game has a Warp Zone hidden in a bird that the player must jump into to access.
14. The game has a secret wall that the player must find to access certain areas.
15. The game has a second quest, but it is the same exact game with the items in different spots.
16. After completing the second quest, the game repeats over and over again.