The provided text appears to be a dialogue from a video game or a story featuring various characters from different games, including Mario, Sonic, and Donkey Kong. The main plot revolves around a series of conversations between these characters and their agents, who are trying to rebrand and reimage them to appeal to the modern market.
Mario is advised to change his image by fighting turtles instead of apes, losing weight, and becoming a plumber. He is also introduced to a new brother, Luigi. Sonic, on the other hand, is paired with Knuckles instead of Tails.
Donkey Kong is being rebranded as the hero of his own game, Donkey Kong Country, with the help of a new sidekick, Diddy. Gex, a character who has been out of work for over a decade, is trying to get back into the industry but is told he is no longer desirable.
The dialogue also features other characters, including Raiden from Mortal Kombat and Johnny Cage, who are participating in a fight to the death. The conversation between them is interrupted, and the fight is postponed.
Throughout the dialogue, the agents are shown to be manipulative and only interested in making their clients more marketable and profitable, often at the expense of their dignity and well-being.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The documents contain a conversation between a video game character and their agent.
2. The agent is trying to rebrand the character's image.
3. The character was previously a carpenter, but the agent thinks that's too "Jesusy".
4. The character is now a plumber.
5. The agent wants the character to fight turtles instead of monkeys.
6. The character needs to be paired with a celebrity, preferably royalty.
7. The agent represents a princess who could be a good match for the character.
8. The character needs a family to make their video game more relatable.
9. The agent introduces the character to their new brother, Luigi.
10. Luigi is an Italian character who can help the character's image.
11. The character's real name is Mario, but the agent doesn't think that's a good name.
12. The agent thinks Italians are popular right now, so they want to emphasize that aspect of the character.
13. The character is told to lose weight and grow taller to improve their image.
14. Sonic the Hedgehog is mentioned as a competitor to the character.
15. The agent wants to create a game called "Sonic and Knuckles".
16. The character Donkey Kong is being rebranded as a protagonist instead of an antagonist.
17. Donkey Kong's new game is called "Donkey Kong Country".
18. The character Gex is an agent who represents video game characters.
19. Gex has been out of work for over a decade.
20. Gex tries to get a job as a mini-boss in a Mario game.
21. Gex is told that they can't be in a Mario game, but they could be a Pokémon instead.
22. Gex is given the name "Charmander" and can only say that word.
23. Johnny Cage and Raiden are characters who are fighting to the death.
24. Raiden is an immortal god of thunder.
25. The fight between Johnny Cage and Raiden is interrupted due to a mistake.
26. Miss Blade is a character who killed one of the agent's top clients.
27. The agent wants to rebrand Miss Blade's image by increasing her cup size.
Note: Some of the text appears to be a transcript of a conversation, while other parts seem to be a script for a video game or animated series.