The provided text appears to be a transcript of a video, possibly a comedy sketch or a parody of a TV show or YouTube video. The speaker, João Kleber, talks about various topics in a nonsensical and humorous way, making fun of himself and others.
Some of the topics he discusses include:
* His love life and relationships
* His job and career aspirations
* His obsession with Michael Jackson
* His desire to get married and have children
* His eccentric behavior and habits
* His interactions with others, including his wife, friends, and even his dog
Throughout the video, João Kleber makes absurd statements, tells outlandish stories, and engages in silly antics, all while maintaining a comedic tone. The video ends with him inviting viewers to subscribe to his channel and asking for suggestions for future content.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The speaker mentions a business that goes on strike all the time.
2. The speaker's wife forced them to do work in Mexico.
3. The speaker claims to have a secret that they are only effective on their cell phone and social media.
4. The speaker wants to name their son YouTube.
5. The speaker claims to have a job for the listener, which involves selling white hats.
6. The speaker mentions that they have medical insurance, a nighttime meal, and a transportation voucher as prerequisites for the job.
7. The speaker wants the listener to pay for their college education.
8. The speaker claims to have a collection of underwear from 2011.
9. The speaker wants to tattoo a map image on the listener.
10. The speaker mentions that they are in love with someone named Chimbinha.
11. The speaker claims to have 14 to 15 children and that one of them is their lover.
12. The speaker mentions that they brushed the dog's teeth with the listener's toothbrush.
13. The speaker claims to be getting married again and wants the listener to be the godmother at their wedding.
14. The speaker mentions that they will be leaving with someone named João Kleber.