Comedian Ralphie May recounts attending a gay wedding where he witnessed an eccentric and flamboyant Cher impersonator named Sugar, who suffered a wardrobe malfunction during his performance. May describes the wedding reception, which featured a lavish spread of food and drinks, including pharmaceutical-grade MDMA (ecstasy) pills that guests were encouraged to take. May and his wife took the pills and experienced a wild and unforgettable night. May reflects on how his experience at the wedding helped him realize that his previous prejudices against the LGBTQ+ community were unfounded and that he had become a more open-minded and accepting person.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The narrator's son, August, was four years old at the time of the events described.
2. The narrator attended a gay wedding with his family.
3. The wedding featured a six-foot-four black male transvestite Cher impersonator named Sugar.
4. Sugar wore platform boots, fishnet stockings, a garter belt, a bustier, and a cape.
5. During Sugar's performance, his penis and one of his testicles fell out of his britches.
6. The narrator's son asked questions about Sugar's appearance and performance.
7. The wedding reception featured a sushi bar, prime rib stations, and seafood stations.
8. The narrator and his wife found three pills at their table, which they suspected might be ecstasy.
9. The pills were part of a theme based on Alice in Wonderland.
10. The narrator and his wife took the pills, which appeared to have a profound effect on the narrator.
11. The narrator danced to Ke$ha and tweaked his nipple while holding his junk.
12. The party went until 3:40.
13. The narrator was glad he attended the wedding and was impressed by the hospitality of the gay men.