The text appears to be a comedic monologue, likely from a stand-up comedy show. The speaker shares various humorous anecdotes and jokes, often referencing his personal life, relationships, and family. He talks about his childhood, his wedding, and his experiences with Christmas and New Year's Eve traditions.
Some specific topics include:
* A joke about watching porn and the unexpected appearance of an older woman
* The speaker's start in comedy as a bartender and his experiences with other comedians
* His love for Christmas, despite not believing in the traditional story of Jesus' birth
* His family's quirks and how they don't get along, comparing them to a tiger and a rabbit
* His girlfriend's (now wife's) family and their expectations for Christmas dinner
* The speaker's own Christmas experiences, including working on Christmas night and watching vampire movies
* New Year's Eve customs, such as eating 12 grapes and making wishes, which he pokes fun at
* His own wishes for health, money, and leaving the "circuit" ( possibly referring to the entertainment industry)
* A humorous anecdote about his mother and aunt running around the house with suitcases to ensure travel in the new year.
Overall, the monologue is a lighthearted and entertaining take on various aspects of life, relationships, and cultural traditions.
Here are the key facts from the text:
1. The speaker started their career as a bartender in a neighborhood in 1998/1999.
2. The speaker began performing as a comedian in the same bar where they worked as a bartender.
3. The speaker got married in the same bar where they worked and performed.
4. The speaker's career as a comedian took off after they were invited to perform by Oscar Burgos.
5. The speaker's wedding took place at the bar where they worked and performed.
6. The speaker's family is not able to spend time together in one place due to their personalities.
7. The speaker's grandmother lived with them at one point in their life.
8. The speaker has a tradition of eating 12 grapes at midnight on New Year's Eve.
9. The speaker has three wishes for the new year: health, money, and leaving the circuit.
10. The speaker's family has a tradition of running around the house with suitcases at midnight on New Year's Eve to ensure they travel during the year.