The reviewer discusses two Superman games, one for the Atari 2600 and one for the NES, criticizing their poor gameplay, awkward controls, and nonsensical plot elements. The Atari 2600 game is described as unplayable, with a confusing navigation system and lack of boundaries. The NES game fares no better, with awkward controls, poorly designed characters, and a bizarre plot that includes a focus on the stock market. The reviewer expresses frustration and confusion throughout, questioning the developers' decisions and the reasoning behind certain game mechanics. The review ends with the reviewer announcing that their next review will be of Superman 64, a notoriously bad game for the Nintendo 64 that many have requested they cover.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The narrator is playing Superman for the Atari 2600 on the 7800 console.
2. In the game, you start as Clark Kent and must navigate to a phone booth to transform into Superman.
3. Superman's objective is to fly around and collect pieces of a bridge.
4. The game features kryptonite, which can temporarily take away Superman's flying ability.
5. The game has no way to die, but instead is based on achieving the fastest time.
6. The narrator is also playing Superman for the NES.
7. In the NES version, you start as Clark Kent and must navigate the Daily Planet office.
8. The game features a map screen and a variety of superpowers, including super flight.
9. The narrator criticizes the game's awkward controls and poor design choices.
10. The game features a boss character, a woman with a whip and a deformed head.
11. The narrator eventually defeats the boss and receives a newspaper headline saying "Superman defeats Zod gang."
12. The game then shifts to a focus on the stock market, which the narrator finds confusing and irrelevant.
13. The narrator decides to end the review, stating that the game is "unreviewable" and "cannot be done justice."
14. The narrator receives a password at the end of the game, but notes that it is useless since they will never play the game again.
15. The narrator mentions that they have been requested to review Superman 64, a game for the Nintendo 64 console.