A guy has a crush on a girl named Tamsin and wants to know if she feels the same way. He enlists the help of his friend Morgan and comes up with a plan to disguise himself as an Uber driver to get close to Tamsin and have a conversation with her. He picks her up from the train station and, while driving her to her destination, tries to build a rapport with her and gather information about her interests and feelings. Tamsin eventually opens up about her life, including her relationship with a guy named Morgan (the same friend who helped with the plan), and the Uber driver (who is actually the guy with a crush on Tamsin) tries to gauge her interest in dating him. In the end, Tamsin discovers the truth about the Uber driver's identity and is not amused, leaving the guy without a tip and with a failed attempt to win her heart.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The person narrating is planning to ask their crush, Tamsin, to be their girlfriend.
2. They are unsure if Tamsin feels the same way about them.
3. To find out, the narrator plans to disguise themselves as an Uber driver and pick up Tamsin from the train station.
4. The narrator purchases a disguise, including a pink wig, bushy beard, and fake tattoos.
5. They also buy men's clothes to complete the disguise.
6. The narrator and their friend Morgan go to a McDonald's to eat before the narrator picks up Tamsin.
7. The narrator, still in disguise, picks up Tamsin from the train station and they begin to chat.
8. Tamsin mentions that she is single and has had two previous boyfriends.
9. The narrator, still in character as "Big John", asks Tamsin if she likes older guys, and she says no.
10. Tamsin mentions that she has a friend named Morgan, who makes videos for little kids.
11. The narrator, still in disguise, learns that Tamsin has known Morgan for four months and thinks he is nice, kind, and funny.
12. Tamsin also mentions that Morgan smells, picks his nose, and eats it, which she finds annoying.
13. The narrator, still in character as "Big John", suggests that Morgan might be interested in Tamsin romantically.
14. Tamsin says that if Morgan were to ask her out, she would consider saying yes.
15. The ride ends, and Tamsin discovers the narrator's true identity, finding the prank funny.