Comedian Sal Vulcano recounts a story about a weed edible-fueled escapade. He opens a misdelivered package addressed to "Stacy Wu" at his house, finds a pair of women's pants, and decides to write a ransom note to Stacy demanding peanut butter in exchange for the pants. He sends the note and multiple photos of himself wearing the pants and a ski mask. However, he soon discovers that the package was meant for his landlord's girlfriend, Stacy Wu. Sal confesses to his landlord, who agrees to intervene on his behalf. The story ends with Sal encountering Stacy Wu in his driveway a year and a half later, and he deadpans that he never received the peanut butter.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The speaker, Sal Vulcano, is telling a story about a time he received a package that was not addressed to him.
2. The package was addressed to a person named Stacy Wu and contained a pair of women's pants from Ann Taylor Loft.
3. Sal did not know Stacy Wu and had never heard of her before.
4. The package was delivered to Sal's house by mistake.
5. Sal decided to open the package and found the pants inside.
6. Sal then got an idea to play a prank on Stacy Wu and wrote her a ransom note asking for a jar of peanut butter in exchange for the pants.
7. Sal sent the ransom note and a picture of himself wearing the pants to Stacy Wu's email address.
8. Stacy Wu responded to the email, calling Sal's actions "creepy" and threatening to file a complaint with UPS and have the authorities track him down.
9. Sal realized he had gone too far and decided to confess to his landlord, Stanley, who was actually Stacy Wu's boyfriend.
10. Stanley asked Sal to show him the ransom note, which Sal had written in a childish and threatening tone.
11. Sal also showed Stanley the picture of himself wearing the pants, which he described as "terrorist casual".
12. Stanley offered to hash out the situation with Stacy Wu on Sal's behalf.
13. A year and a half later, Sal met Stacy Wu in person and told her that he never got the peanut butter he had asked for in the ransom note.
14. Sal is a comedian and was telling this story as part of his stand-up routine.