What a 15-year-old meth addict taught me about leadership | Brian Fretwell | TEDxBoise - Summary

Summary

The speaker shares his experience as a 22-year-old teacher at a juvenile corrections facility, where he struggled to connect with a 15-year-old student named Nathan, a methamphetamine addict. Despite using various methods to try to reach Nathan, the speaker was met with resistance. It wasn't until a colleague, Sal, suggested he start asking Nathan questions instead of trying to provide answers that the speaker saw a breakthrough. By using the power of questioning, the speaker was able to help Nathan open up and reveal his true desires and aspirations. The experience taught the speaker a valuable lesson about the nature of leadership, which is not about providing answers, but about extracting and growing from within. This approach is embodied in the Latin word "adduco," meaning "to extract from" or "to draw out." The speaker concludes that leadership is not about being the expert, but about participating and believing in the potential of others, and that this approach can lead to powerful transformations.

Facts

Here are the key facts extracted from the text:

1. The speaker took a job at a juvenile corrections facility's chemical addictions unit when they were 22 years old.
2. The speaker was a teacher and worked with students who had various criminal backgrounds, including drug addiction and gang involvement.
3. One of the students, a 15-year-old named Nathan, was a methamphetamine addict with a history of hardships.
4. Nathan was one of the most honest kids the speaker had ever met, but he struggled to come up with a plan for his future.
5. The speaker tried to convince Nathan to change his ways, but Nathan was resistant to the speaker's efforts.
6. A colleague named Sal intervened and suggested that the speaker try a different approach with Nathan.
7. Sal's approach involved asking Nathan questions to help him discover his own desires and goals.
8. The speaker was initially skeptical but eventually saw the value in Sal's approach.
9. The speaker started asking Nathan more pointed questions, which led to Nathan becoming frustrated and defensive.
10. The speaker realized that Nathan was protecting his hopes and dreams, which had likely been battered before.
11. The speaker continued to ask Nathan questions, and eventually, Nathan opened up about his true desires and goals.
12. Nathan expressed a desire to have a family and be the first in his family to make something of himself.
13. The speaker realized that Nathan had the confidence, courage, and vulnerability to set a new vision for himself.
14. The speaker learned a valuable lesson about leadership from Nathan and Sal.
15. The speaker has been a leadership consultant for the last 15 years and has applied the lessons they learned from Nathan and Sal to their work.