The conversation begins with Jeffy, an 18-year-old with a childlike mind, excitedly looking at the presents under the Christmas tree. He wants to tell Santa Claus what he wants for Christmas, but his parents explain that Santa is busy on Christmas Eve. Jeffy insists on talking to Santa, and his parents take him to the mall, where they meet a fake Santa Claus who is not very convincing.
When Jeffy discovers that the Santa is fake, he becomes upset and his parents are forced to tell him that Santa Claus is not real. Jeffy becomes angry and starts breaking things in the kitchen.
One of Jeffy's parents calls an "elf" who works at the mall and asks for help. The elf suggests kidnapping the Tooth Fairy, who is Santa's daughter, in order to get Santa's attention. They use a tooth that the elf had previously obtained to lure the Tooth Fairy to their location, but she poops and escapes.
Just as they are about to give up, Santa Claus appears, having been alerted to the attempt to kidnap his daughter. Jeffy's parents try to explain that they were just trying to get Santa's attention, but Santa is not convinced.
In a surprising turn of events, Jeffy's father accidentally stabs Santa in the neck with a sharp candy cane, and Santa is dying. Jeffy uses his dying wish to ask for a stripper, which appears in the form of a pole dancer. The scene ends with Jeffy enjoying his Christmas gift, while his parents look on in shock and embarrassment.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. It's Christmas Eve and Jeffy is 18 years old.
2. Jeffy has a lot of presents under the Christmas tree.
3. Jeffy wants to see Santa Claus to tell him what he wants for Christmas.
4. The family goes to the mall to see Santa Claus, but the mall Santa is a fake one.
5. The fake Santa is not very convincing and Jeffy discovers the truth.
6. Jeffy's dad tries to explain that Santa Claus is not real, but Jeffy is upset.
7. A phone call is made to someone who claims to be an elf, asking for help to contact the real Santa Claus.
8. The elf suggests kidnapping the Tooth Fairy, who is Santa's daughter, to get in touch with Santa.
9. The plan is to put a tooth under a pillow to lure the Tooth Fairy, but she escapes by pooping.
10. Santa Claus appears, angry at the attempt to kidnap his daughter.
11. Jeffy tries to explain that they were just trying to get a quarter from the Tooth Fairy, but Santa is not convinced.
12. Santa is stabbed in the neck with a sharpened candy cane.
13. As Santa is dying, Jeffy asks him what he wants for his dying wish, and Santa asks for milk and cookies.
14. Jeffy's wish is granted, but he wastes it on a stripper.
15. The story ends with Jeffy enjoying his Christmas gift, a stripper, and his dad leaving the room.