The narrator wasn't raised with sports, but rather emphasized kindness and sharing. They recall playing peewee soccer and not understanding the competitive aspect. They mention that sports seem like they could be resolved with a conversation. The narrator also talks about baseball, saying it looks like a lazy sport and that they're afraid of actual baseballs. They share a story about playing softball with a family who homeschooled their kids, and the narrator was surprised by the lack of competitiveness. The narrator hits the ball and runs the bases, but then hits a girl who was playing at a distance, leaving them with a dilemma. They choose to run home instead of helping the girl, and reflect on how that day they didn't experience athletic glory or learn to be a good person. The narrator ends by saying that their athletic achievements are limited to that one softball game and a notable farting incident that set off a CO2 detector.
1. The narrator was not raised with sports.
2. The narrator's dad liked airplanes, not sports.
3. The narrator played peewee soccer as a child.
4. The narrator was hit in the face with a baseball as a child.
5. The narrator developed a fear of baseballs after the incident.
6. As an adult, the narrator occasionally attends baseball games.
7. The narrator played softball with a family who lived nearby.
8. The narrator hit the ball during the softball game.
9. The narrator's hit was a triumph for their family.
10. The narrator's softball hit was overshadowed by an incident involving a line drive hitting a girl who had special needs.
11. The narrator was 9 years old when the softball incident occurred.
12. The narrator was 36 years old when they revisited the memory of the softball incident.
13. The narrator's 36th birthday was on December 23rd.
14. The narrator set off the CO2 detector in their childhood bedroom twice on the eve of their 36th birthday.