The passage begins by describing a hypothetical future where humanity has made significant advancements in space exploration, but it quickly becomes a satirical commentary on the state of the world in 2017.
The year 2017 is described as a chaotic and tumultuous time, marked by rising tensions between the US and North Korea, with both sides engaging in a war of words and threats of nuclear war. The passage also highlights the absurdity of the situation, with world leaders engaging in childish name-calling and the threat of nuclear war being sparked by a tweet.
The passage also touches on various other events and trends of 2017, including the rise of memes and social media, the controversy over YouTube's Adpocalypse, and the growing concern over cybersecurity threats.
The second half of the passage focuses on various anniversaries and milestones, including the 10th anniversary of the iPhone and the 50th anniversary of the Soviet Union's landing on Venus. It also notes the devastating natural disasters that occurred in 2017, including hurricanes, wildfires, and earthquakes.
The passage also discusses the growing concern over sexual harassment and abuse, particularly in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein scandal, and the growing awareness of the #MeToo movement.
Finally, the passage ends on a more positive note, highlighting the advancements made in space exploration and the potential for hope and inspiration in the face of adversity. It notes the successful reflight of an orbital-class rocket booster by SpaceX, the detection of a rare kilonova, and the brief visitation of an extrasolar object, ʻOumuamua, which passed through the inner Solar System.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. North Korea launched a ballistic missile over the Sea of Japan in February.
2. North Korea launched its first intercontinental ballistic missile on July 4th.
3. Donald Trump responded to North Korea's actions with a contentious statement.
4. The Supreme Leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, threatened to strike the US territory Guam.
5. The United Nations imposed sanctions on North Korea.
6. North Korea detonated a nuclear device in early September.
7. Donald Trump addressed the United Nations General Assembly on September 18th, stating that the US would have no choice but to destroy North Korea if it was forced to defend itself.
8. A North Korean soldier defected to South Korea in November and was shot five times but survived.
9. The world looked on in suspense as the nuclear conflict between the US and North Korea devolved into a long-distance name-calling contest.
10. Billions of years of evolution and the cause of our inevitable demise could unironically be a tweet.
11. A teenage girl momentarily attained fame by not being able to speak.
12. Pepsi proclaimed itself the savior of the world in a beautifully tone-deaf commercial.
13. A man announced his inability to be hot.
14. A hacker group known as The Shadow Brokers has been leaking various hacking tools developed by the US intelligence agency, the NSA, since August 2016.
15. Cybersecurity experts cautioned that these tools could be used to launch far-reaching cyberattacks.
16. The WannaCry ransomware infected more than 300,000 Windows systems in May 2017, demanding a ransom of up to $600 to be paid in Bitcoin.
17. Affected systems included hospitals in the UK and railways in Germany, and it is believed that North Korea was behind the attack.
18. A guy from the UK accidentally stumbled upon a kill switch in the malware, effectively halting the attack.
19. The Petya malware primarily struck Ukraine in late June and was designed to look like ransomware while in reality its encryption was irreversible.
20. The breach of the American credit agency Equifax is among the worst in history, with highly sensitive and personal information of nearly half the American population stolen and leaked by hackers over several months.
21. The final Harry Potter book was released 10 years ago.
22. Pornhub was launched 10 years ago.
23. The first installment of popular video game franchises such as Portal, Mass Effect, BioShock, Assassin's Creed, The Witcher, and Crysis saw the light of day 10 years ago.
24. The Soviet Union landed a spacecraft on Venus 50 years ago, becoming the first country to visit the surface of another planet.
25. The US stopped being afraid of interracial marriage 50 years ago.
26. The world's first ATM was installed in the UK 50 years ago.
27. The United States entered World War I 100 years ago.
28. The Russian Revolution led to the collapse of the Russian Empire and the rise of the Soviet Union 100 years ago.
29. Finland became a country 100 years ago.
30. The US purchased a few Danish-controlled islands in the Caribbean and renamed them the Virgin Islands 100 years ago.
31. The 67th emperor of Japan passed away 1000 years ago.
32. The annual monsoon season of South Asia struck with unforeseen severity in 2017, affecting up to 45 million people and resulting in the deaths of more than a thousand.
33. The Atlantic hurricane season was one of the most active and destructive on record, taking hundreds of lives and inflicting nearly $400 billion in damages.
34. The devastating destruction of islands such as Puerto Rico, Dominica, and others triggered a humanitarian crisis as the rapid succession of two Category 5 storms left millions without access to food, water, electricity, and shelter.
35. Sweeping wildfires dominated the news in 2017, breaking record after record in places such as Canada, the US, Chile, France, and Portugal.
36. Mexico was struck by two powerful earthquakes in less than two weeks in September, resulting in hundreds of deaths.
37. The deadliest earthquake of 2017 struck the border between Iran and Iraq in November, killing more than 600 and destroying tens of thousands of buildings.
38. The Federal Corruption Commission's repeal of net neutrality was met with widespread criticism in 2017.
39. The hashtag #MeToo served as an awareness campaign and a vehicle for victims to publicly denounce sexual abuse and highlight the widespread misogyny by men in positions of power in 2017.
40. One Bitcoin was worth around $1000 at the start of 2017, but its value continued to rise throughout the year, surpassing $10,000 in late November.
41. The value of Bitcoin continued to rise until it peaked around $19,000 in mid-December.
42. The global interest in Bitcoin and other altcoins grew significantly in 2017.
43. Bitcoin mining is consuming vast amounts of energy, with the global energy consumption of Bitcoin mining now greater than the total energy consumption of entire countries.
44. The private space flight company SpaceX demonstrated the reusability of its rockets with the first successful reflight of an orbital-class rocket booster in late March 2017.
45. A rare and distant kilonova was detected in August 2017 by dozens of ground-based and orbital instruments.
46. The Cassini spacecraft concluded its 13-year mission with a kamikaze dive into the dim clouds of Saturn and captured its final image a few hours before its inevitable demise.
47. The asteroid known as ʻOumuamua passed through the inner Solar System in September 2017 and was first detected a month later as it moved away from the Sun.
48. ʻOumuamua is the first detection of an object from another corner of the galaxy.
49. The origin of ʻOumuamua and the duration of its journey remains unclear, but the Solar System is likely the first star system it's encountered on its lonesome voyage through interstellar space.
50. Multiple astronomical institutions have surveyed ʻOumuamua for signs of artificial transmissions, but none have been detected as of yet.